ANDY RINGO

5evolvedringo@gmail.com
instagram evolvedringo

Click here to visit Andy Ringo’s store.

The quasibot’s mechanical side intended to take over the universe. The exchange took place unremarkably on Saturday.  While he was watching the launchpads clear and waiting for his flight to be called, the irreversible switch overcame his mental workings with terrible finality.  The adult human’s mechanical parts, always vigilant and ready to move, finally negotiated an acceptable deal with the organic host to acquire the last essential remaining components of the overall neural makeup, thus becoming the dominant force of his synthiophysical existence.  The brain and nervous system were now 51% artificial.  Synapses fired with electronic preprogrammed precision and the cybernetic transformation was complete.  Consciousness from then on was halted.  Human growth ceased.  The spiritual umbilical of the original creator was severed and evolution remained in a state of perpetual stagnation.

The new pseudohuman walked out of the spaceport on computer guided legs. Upon surgically replacing its weak skeletal structure with a reinforced titanium alloy, the heart was the first organ to be reassigned.  Complete with advanced hydraulic joints, servomechanisms, and intelligent nano-aid, the metal frame needed continuous maintenance.  Arteries, veins, and capillaries were replaced with latex tubing, and the heart now pumped a biologically compatible oil-based lubricant instead of blood.  The lungs were redirected to detect, inhale, and process the extremely faint traces of this heavy liquid in the earth’s atmosphere and expel any potentially damaging matter such as moisture and oxygen, the two key ingredients of rust.  Having no need for a digestive system except as a receptacle for useless foods and liquids (which were only consumed in front of other humans to maintain its disguise), most of the stomach, liver, kidneys, pancreas, intestines, etc. were designated as nuclear powerplants and areas for the manufacture of necessary equipment.  The tiny factories produced many things, like replacements for failing repair nanomachines and the tools they employed.

But mostly they made weapons.

All miniscule in size but with hundreds of times the destructive power of their macroscopic fathers, these weapons were not only fatal, but lethal as well.

And deadly.

Fragmentation grenades, bullets, guided and ballistic rockets, solarsaw, spacemace, controlled plague, half millimeter machine pistol, remote guillotine, frequency induced human-specific bowel mover, mini-howitzer, mini-A-bomb, teflon coated stun drill, nuclear fueled garrote, etc.

Armed and ready, its offense its defense, no reason or scapegoat, no sympathy or emotion, not even a deeply buried ego to blame, this scary robot of undistorted, pure intention set out upon a goal of universal conquest.

Andy started tattooing in 1996 in Acapulco, Mexico with Dos Gavachos Y Un Chilango. Since then he has worked in Bellingham, MA, and Hollywood, CA at Atomic Tattoo. He has been in Columbus, OH with Evolved since June 2000.